10/06/2017

19 Things I Have Learnt In 19 Years

(beep)

wow, today I am 19. I feel old! how old are you when you're reading this future anna? anyway, I found something the other day that was looking at things people wish they could tell their younger self, and things like that, and I was thinking about the things I had learnt through my life so far. I then thought it would be cool to have a copy of 19 things I have learnt through my 19 years of life as it flows quite nicely, and I may to this again when my age changes, or in a few years, I don't really know but here we gooooo.....

~ 19 things I have learnt in 19 years ~

 
1. it's ok to be angry, but always say sorry and forgive.
I get angry. really easily and nearly everyday. I often blame it on me being a gemini, as i'm either super calm or MADDDD!!! haha! I also recently found out that what happens could be classed as a panic attack. I get that, but I don't want to blam emy anxiety for everything. I just think that's the easy way out and not how I wanna deal with it. anyway, I think it's good to get angry at times and let off steam. sure, people have it much worse than I do, but that doesn't mean my problems are stupid. it's good to experience different emotions, but what I have learnt is to always calm down, and say sorry. what if the person I argue with doesn't wake up and the last memory they have is anger? I don't want that! ALWAYS SAY SORRY! even if you carry a grudge against your sister for nearly a week ;)
 
2. i'm not good at cooking/baking.
I enjoy baking and being creative in the kitchen! I love food and trying new recipes. BUT I make such a mess and nothing ever seems to go perfectly well! I think i'm ok at decorating, but the actual baking, hmmm no! haha! I might be better in the future (how is it going future anna??) but for now, I know that I am bad at it and I accept it!
 
3. my brain is confused and scared, but that's completely FINE.
I have anxiety and other stuff and that is fine. I have learnt that I have it, I have learnt how to kinda deal with it, and I will learn how to cope with my brain as I go through life. it's not fine all the time, but I will be ok. I am ok!
 
4. I might think i'm old, but i'm not.
I am ALWAYS so so worried that I haven't achieved what others have by my age. it's stupid, but I often feel too old to change what I want to do. WHY WHY WHY!?!!? I AM 19!?!? I am a baby, I feel like a baby, i'm not old! if I want to change what i'm doing, I can. anyone can at any age! i'm still trying to teach myself this, but hopefully by having it down here, I will feel better.
 
5. people deal with things in different ways.
i wouldn't say i'm rude, but if i'm sad over something, I used to think that that's how everyone else should feel. ok that's kinda a bad example, but you know what I mean?!? hopefully you do. anyway, I would say that one thing I have learnt over my 19 years of life is that people deal differently to things. something that happened when I was 7 still affects me. it possibly still affects my family but I don't know and that's ok. everyone has different thoughts and feelings, and are allowed to deal with things differently to I do!
 
6. I am awful at spelling.

I can spell. it just sometimes takes me a minute or two to get it right. thank goodness for spell check! I accept that I am bad at it, and that's ok!
 
7. following a band/celebrity isn't a waste of time.
I remember following s club 7. then gareth gates. then no one for years. THEN KATY PERRY AND BASTILLE CAME ALONG AND BOIIII I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY THEY MAKE ME! if i'm sad, I listen to their music, and I just love seeing what they're doing! I seriously wanna make cookies with katy and go trampolining with the boys of bastille! most of my life, people have been confused by my love and not understood it AT ALL! I understand. it's weird! but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it! tbh, if my kid is a fangirl, i'm gonna be there supporting them, buying them merch, taking them to gigs, EVERYTHING! through this I have also had some amazing experiences and met the best people ever! I wouldn't call myself a stalker, I just love supporting these people!
 
8. if you want to do something, you have to say YES!
another thing to do with anxiety, but I have always been scared to do things. simple things like going to the shops, or even meeting my friends at the park have always been so so difficult for me! recently, I learnt that i'm going to end up missing out on so so much if I keep saying no. so from now on, I'm trying to say YES to as much as I can! when I look back on my life, I want to have enjoyed everything I've done, not sit and realise that I never did anything.
 
9. I can't do makeup well.
my skills (lol skills) don't go further than putting on lipbalm! I could possibly learn more about makeup, but I don't trust myself with concealer let alone bronzer, foundation, and eyebrow stuff! my everyday makeup routine is; concealer, powder, mascara, lipbalm and that's it! I can do a lil eyeshadow, but nothing else. I accept that I can't do it, and i'm fine with that!
 
10. people will never stop talking about my weight/size.
all my life, I have been small. small in weight and height and shoe size. if I ever say someone looks lovely, the reply is: "no, i'm not but you are as you're so skinny", or variations on that. it's lovely that people think i'm nice looking, but why should my weight come into it? I could go on about this forever, but i'm not actually happy with my weight. I don't like how "skinny" my arms are, etc, but i'm not allowed to complain as i'm "thin". it's so stupid and winds me up so much! i'm sorry that i'm a small weight and i'm sorry that I was born like this and i'm sorry that your opinions don't actually make me feel good. anyway, my weight will always come up in conversation, so I have learnt to just accept it and try and change the subject.
 
11. a2+b2=c2 (school, college, driving, etc).
now with this one, I was thinking about actual kinda things that I have learnt through school and college, and learning to drive recently. it makes me happy to know that I have been allowed a great education, and through it I have made so many friends, and passed exams which have allowed me to move onto great things. school has taught me to read, spell (kinda), make friends, be who I am, so I am very greatful to it, and I couldn't leave the whole idea of learning off the list.
 
12. treat my family and friends (+ myself).
since the age of 16, I have had a total of 4 jobs. I think i'm very lucky for that as people who are double of triple my age can't find a job. because of this, I have saved up money. not LOADS! but I am in a comfortable place where I can treat my family and friends with meals, small treats, going to the sweet shop after picking up my brother from school and other little things like that. i'm not going to live with my family forever, so by doing stuff like this, I feel like we are having a memory that we will be able to cherish forever. through my 19 years, I have learnt to spend time with the people I love and spend time and a little bit of money with them as I might not be able to do it forever. also, I have learnt to treat myself as well, because I deserve it! and I hope you still treat yourself future anna!
 
13. art is so much more than just drawing on paper.
from nursery to year 9 in high school, I always though art was just drawing, and painting and the typical artsy things like that. that's because all we did in art lessons was draw/paint/and possibly do papier mache. it makes me so so mad that I didn't understand art until about year 10. obviously I knew the photographs and films and drama and stuff was art, but I didn't really know at the same time. anyway, year 10 was when we started making our own drama pieces and I can remember thinking that I was making art and it opened my mind to the world of art! I can't even explain how that changed my life but i'm so glad I realised. hopefully you have learnt about the world of art (poetry, dance, books, painting, sculpting, photography, etc) a whole lot more future anna!
 
14. not all people on the internet are scary.
since birth, it is drilled into everyone's brains that no one on the internet is real and everyone wants to hurt you. lol sorry parents and teachers! anyway, a few years ago, I became part of a Katycat group chat on WhatsApp through meeting people on twitter, and even though the chat only lasted for about 2 days, I started speaking to a few katycats from the UK. I am still friends with a few and you know what, I even travelled to meet a few! and they were real. and i'm still alive! yeah I get that the internet is a scary place, but it's also a great place to express who you are and talk to like minded people! when I had my old youtube channel, I did a collab with someone who lives in Australia, and even though we spoke often, we knew that we would never meet because we live oceans away! HOWEVER!! when I went to Australia, we actually met! crazy! and yeah, shock horror, I am still ALIVE! hahah! (read about it more here: http://annasnothere.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/kates-calling.html) I love speaking to new people and I have spoken to people who are stormers (bastille fans) since and I enjoy it so much. I have even met one I met on Instagram (who is so so lovely) and we went to a small bastille concert together! still can't believe that!! Through my life, I have learnt to meet new people and try and make friends with people as the friendships could last forever! on a more serious note, I have learnt to never give my private information to anyone, and to never accept friend requests from anyone I have never met in person (I don't even accept people who I went to school with. if I didn't speak to you during my education, why would I want to know what you're doing now tbh??). stay safe future anna!
 
15. how to take care of my hair.
one of my biggest regrets was cutting my hair to shoulder length when I left year 6. I wanted a change so I thought cutting my hair would do. LOL NO! after that tragic time, I wanted to grow my hair again, and because of the short hair thing, I wore my hair up in a pony tail for like the whole of high school. when I got to college, I was sick of trying to grow my hair as I couldn't deal with how thick and big it was, so I decided to cut it short again and research my hair type and how to care for it. BOOM I NOW KNOW HOW TO LOOK AFTER IT! even though I looked silly in year 6, i'm kinda glad I cut my hair then, as without struggling for a few years, I probably wouldn't know how to love my hair now.
 
16. save money.
like I said about treating my family before, I have managed to save a lil bit of money through my jobs. right now in my life, I can only see me in the future, and no one else. that seems kinda sad but it's actually quite nice. anyway, it makes me think that when it comes to me buying a house, I will only have myself to rely on, so I better start saving for a deposit now! I have learnt (kinda, not well, but still ok) how to use my bank account, and how to manage my money and budget which I feel really grateful for. hopefully your still alright money-wise future anna!
 
17. friends come and go.
losing friends SUCKS! but it's normal to grow up and lose people. I no longer speak to my best friend from primary school which sometimes upsets me, but I understand that people change and if we spoke now, we would probably have nothing in common. even though I find it quite difficult to keep in contact with people because texting stresses me out, it's now super easy to see what people are doing through social media! hopefully I am able to make more friends throughout my life and keep a lot of the people I love around me from these past 19 years. including those I have met online (throwback to point 14).
18. people have opinions.
before I mentioned that people deal with things in different ways. now it's time to chat about how I have learnt about people having opinions. there is no crazy storytime or anything, but if you know me, you know that I have opinions. I feel very strongly about my opinions. I will listen to your opinions, but I want my opinions to be heard. make sense?!?! hopefully. anyway, I have learnt (even though it has taken me time) to listen to others and accept that people might not think the same as me. I have learnt to take other peoples opinions into consideration. I feel I have strongly improved to how I react to others opinions, and I hope to get even better!
 
19. cheesy, but being myself is the best thing I can be.
had to end it on a good note didn't I! even though my life has been twists and turns of learning who I am, like everyone else, I finally feel like I am at a point where I am happy with who I am, my style, my music taste, my friends, my dreams, and many more. i'm not super happy about my bedroom but who actually is? it isn't bad, I just don't really know how to make it ME! I have learnt to accept that i'm not one of the popular kids, and I am not be the prettiest gal, but that's ok! I am fine just being me and I think that's the greatest thing you can learn. it's difficult to learn it, and i'm not fully in love with who I am, but at least I am mostly happy which is more than I could wish for!


So that was some of the 19 things I have learnt in my 19 years of life so far. obviously I have learnt more, but I feel that these are some of the most important to me! have to added to this list future anna? oh, happy birthday btw!

(beep)

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