hello future anna! quite a few months have passed since my last mobile mind update, but that's ok! this one will just be a lil longer than the rest! i would say the last few months have been more positive than negative. but i will start with the negative so we can end on a high! wooo! kinda... haha!
on November 15th, bastille released tickets for their reorchestrated tour. this stressed me out. a lot. but ticket always do haha!
ok, so between december 9th til the 31st, we looked after my cousins dog because she was going away and the person who was going to be doing it had pulled out last minute. from the get-go, i didn't want to do this. now, i'm not rude, i will always help others if i can, but we've never had a dog before, and i am normally the only person here in the day. i would be the one looking after her a lot. three weeks can be a long time, and even though it was fun to look after her, i am glad i have my space back, and that i don't have to change my whole day. i have nothing against dogs, but for me, i hate going from one extreme to another. it stressed me out A LOT! as you probably know!
as it was coming up to christmas, i drove to visit quite a few friends which was really nice! the thing that gave me anxiety was the parking. it seems crazy, but driving is nothing to me, the hard part is when i have to stop. i found parking on the roadside difficult, in car parks i was stressed in case there were no spaces. it just got on top of me! which it shouldn't. i guess i just need to have a bit more driving experience.
on new years, i was invited to a friends house, but i just couldn't go. i just couldn't. i got myself so worked up over it. i still don't really talk face to face with people about how i feel, and i couldn't present myself like that to my friends. it seems crazy, IT IS CRAZY, but i just couldn't make myself go. so i stayed in, and watched the new year come in on the tv with my sister.
i would say that final thing that have given me the most unhappiness over the past few months, was something that happened last week. i was driving home from work, but one of the roads was closed so i had to take a diversion. there were so many different diversion signs that i took a wrong turn on a roundabout and ended up on the motorway. i burst into tears. i had never been on the motorway before. i had done duel carriage ways, heck, to get to work i have to go down one, but never a motorway. my parents always taught me that if i was unsure where i was, i should pull over and google it or ask someone. i couldn't do that in this situation. i tried to calm myself but the more i thought about how i knew nothing of where i was, the more i panicked. i thought i would end up hours from home, and i knew that if i stopped at a service station that i wouldn't be able to get back on the road again. i didn't know what to do. my tears were blurring my vision, and even trying to calm myself by singing familiar songs didn't seem to work, even though my therapist had suggested this one. i thought i would never get home, but then i saw a sign to a familiar place. i took the exit, and somehow made it home. i still don't know how i did it in the dark and with tears in my eyes, with mascara running down my face, but i did. i thought i would never get home, but it proves, as hannah montana says, that you can always find your way back home. i'm fine. it will be a funny story in a few years, but i will never forget how scared i was.
ok.... onto the good things i coped with over the past few months!! there have been a few things, but here are my highlights!!
on the 28th november, i drove to my cousins house, hopped on a train with her to manchester, and went to see one of her favourite bands pvris (you can read more about the actual event here: http://annasnothere.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/on-phone-with-pvris.html ). it was a lovely night and i am so proud of myself for staying calm cool and collected for the whole time! i used to get stressed getting to shows, during the show, and then after until i was home. it made me not enjoy the whole experience, but what would happen? hey anna?? what would go wrong? as long as i'm careful, keep my bag safe, and remember the route to the train station, i have nothing to worry about! we were in plenty of time for the trains, and had a fab time at the show! i just need to continue this trend!
over christmas i saw quite a lot of family! it's always lovely t be surrounded by lovely people, but a lot of people over a long period of time can sometimes drive me insane!! hahah! luckily, i managed to stay calm, and have a few moments of downtime so i could enjoy the festive time of year to my fullest!
now i think my top favourite out of the 3 is a screenwriting course i am currently on! it's run through the bfi in newcastle upon tyne, and when it's finished i have a big blogpost to post about it! i was worried that i wouldn't get on with the other people who are on the course, or the 3 train journey would get me lost/i would be late, but it all went perfectly! it was lovely, and i cannot wait to go back for the week! i am super proud of myself for travelling up and down the country on my own as often as i can! i love it, and it's no longer making me an anxious wreck when i do it!
so that's my updated mobile mind! i thought it would be a nice idea to kick off the first one of the new year with a video also! this video is up on my youtube channel and gives you tips on how to love yourself! it's one of my favourites so far! i will leave it here for you to watch:
keep being happy and staying calm future anna! 2018 will be the best x