Hello hello future anna! It's time for another mobile mind! The past few weeks have been alright, i have mostly felt fine which is GREAT! I actually really love writing down all these things here. It's like therapy. Getting my worries out in the open is so much better than holding them in. As normal, let's talk about the bad, so we can end on a high!
23rd jan- I was asked by my boss if i could work on this night. Now, lemme explain the job. One of the places i work at is a hotel/restaurant/wedding venue, and i am a waitress at the weddings and functions. Now, my boss had asked me to work a night in the main bar with the restaurant, something i hadn't done before. I said that i would work because i actually really enjoy working there, so wanted to help out if i could. However, because i hadn't worked on that side before, i was a little nervous. I knew the people and how to serve on the bar, but it was just so different from what i was used to. Even though i was worried, it worked out fine. I think if i was needed again to cover someone, i would do it, but i do prefer working the weddings as that's what i know and what I'm used to. It worked out fine, and there was no need for me to worry!
29th jan- This day had been fine. I had been at work, and was driving back home about 5pm, so it was dark. I am so confident driving on country lanes and in the dark, but that isn't what spooked me. I was driving home, and there were hardly any cars. As a was approaching a more windy bit, i saw a lorry with 2 cars behind it coming towards me on the other side of the road. Nothing was wrong, until the car behind the lorry and the other car decided to overtake them both WHEN ME AND THE LORRY WERE ABOUT 20 METRES FROM EACH OTHER!!! Hopefully i am explaining this right, but if you are following, you will understand that a car came onto my side of the road, and nearly collided with me. Everyone slammed on their brakes minus the overtaking car. The lorry driver was honking their horn, everything was going in slow motion. The car overtook the lorry, and we were about a metre away from each other. If I hadn't begin slowing down, we would've crashed. I sat in shock, in my car, on a road i drive down so often, shook that someone would risk their life as well as everyone around them just because they felt the others in front were too slow. I don't know what was going through their mind, but i hope they never take risks like that again. If i hadn't been concentrating, or even decided to brake 20 seconds later, i might not be here. I got home and burst into tears. I was just in shock, but every time i drive down that road, i am now so worried that the cars will come onto my side. They won't i'll be ok, I just need to get my confidence back up again.
Over the last week, the UK has been covered in snow if you hadn't been made aware. Luckily, it wasn't really bad near me, but it still worried me. I didn't leave the house for 2 days because I didn't want to drive in the bad weather conditions or get stranded somewhere. It's sensible, but i guess i wasted 2 days which stressed me out even more haahh! Although i did start a new series on Netflix called Dynasty which is fab! I just need to practice in the snow i guess, but at least i could stay at home!
Ok, this is the final thing i'm gonna mention that gave me anxiety and bad feels because we need to chat about the good stuff! Right, i would like to think i have a good work ethic. I have always had a job since the age of 16, and have never been late, rude to co-workers, i have always tried my hardest. I like to know I've earnt my money, i can't stand people who just sit and do nothing even though we are paid the same. Anyway, because of this, i always feel so bad asking for time off. This year, i have/am asking for quite a bit off because of concerts and things. This means missing quite a few weekends, which is mainly when i work. Hopefully my boss understands, and i will happily work any day she needs me, as long as i can have just a few dates off. I will work all of summer! It just stresses me out because I know i'm a good worker, and i always feel i'm being a nuisance if i ask for time off.
YESSS TIME FOR THE SECTION WHERE I TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE GOOD STUFF THAT'S HAPPENED!! THIS WOULD'VE MADE ME FEEL VERY VERY ANXIOUS A FEW MONTHS AGO, BUT NOW IT DOESN'T! And if it does, i can control it so much better!!
First off, I was accepted onto a screenwriting course with the BFI (what the frickkkkk??!) and i survived a whole week in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Even though all my trains were delayed and i could've panicked, i stayed calm, and had the best week EVER! It will seriously be one of my favourite experiences ever! I wish that week could be my week every week. I made so many incredible friends (211 gals 4 evaaa), memories, and a script i am so proud of! You can read more about it here: http://annasnothere.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/bfi-screenwriting-residential.html but i just thought it would be nice to jot it down here, as a few months ago i would've been so worried, but now, i am ready to create and take the world by storm!
Anddddd, the final thing for the long MM update: I went a concert! Yes, my first concert of the year was seeing Imagine Dragons in Birmingham. They were WICKED!!! I hadn't been to the Genting Arena before, or even stepped out of the train station into Birmingham before, so i was a little worried as i didn't know where i was going. BUT, everything was absolutely fine! I had nothing to worry about! The show was excellent, and I hope to see the band again some day! I truly loved it! I cannot wait for the rest of my concerts this year, and to prove to myself that i don't have to worry if i am in a place i don't know. I just need to think logically and stay positive. It will all work out in the end. I actually wrote about the concert if you want more info: http://annasnothere.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/dont-hang-up-on-imagine-dragons.html
So that's my update! A few other things have happened, but i feel these are the top things i have wanted to get out of my brain, or just share how happy i was to do something without worrying! I recently went to IKEA and bought new furniture, so i am finally living in my dream bedroom situation and no longer feeling down and depressed and that the only solution is to move out! I hope to do a video about my room soon, but until then, i can sit at my proper desk, surrounded by lana del rey music and happy thoughts! Keep being positive future anna, one step at a time, ay!